Wednesday, 14 March 2018

What an annoyance

So I did have another blog, with an absolute ton of posts about mental health the world and stuff, but I have no idea what I did to it, it broke and everything was deleted. TT

So I'm going to start from scratch again, why not ey? Can't do no harm to start again.

Start with an introduction shall we.
Hey, I am Terri. I'm in my twenties and suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, I also have a severe case of anxiety, mild OCD, and some trouble controlling my limbs sometimes. (By this I mean sometimes my hands release things when I'm carrying them, I suffer major brain pains as I call them which is usually when it happens) I also have trouble with my joints and breathing (my left lung doesn't contract like it should do to take in enough oxygen)

Now we have the boring introduction out of the way shall we delve into a typical day for me? I imagine it might be pretty similar to some other peoples days too.
 First thing in the morning when I'm supposed to wake up straight away I have to have words with myself to lift my head off the pillow, to put that sock on, to pull those jeans on and just get on with it. When I wake up my brain kicks into overdrive, tells me what could go wrong, in fact, everything that WILL go wrong today, it tells me I'm a worthless piece of shit and why do I even bother to exist. Sometimes I can wake up and I feel great and I enjoy the day ahead, it's not very often but sometimes it does happen. Basically, when I wake up it's like a scratchcard, either I'm going to have a fucking awesome day or I'm going to have a dreadful day. Sometimes I can't even manage to get out of bed, that's how bad it gets for me sometimes and pretty much 9/10 times in the day there are suicidal thoughts going through my head, even if I'm doing something that I like or enjoy. It's just how I'm wired, sometimes you might find me sat in a corner tapping the wall and talking to 'someone' who I 100% believe at the time is there. I won't fully delve into me, because what would be the point of a WHOLE blog haha, so tune back and we'll touch on different things. :3

Love to you all :3

Terri =(^.^)=

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